Well, I am sorry for not posting before now! The last 5 (almost 6) months of my life have been very trying! As many of whoever is reading this knows, I have had some strange illness since the 2nd week in September 2011. It has been a very long road. For my own sake of keeping a journal of my experiences, I would like to write about the whole story as much as I can, and what my precious Lord and Friend has taught me through it all.
To start at the beginning, we arrived in Belize on August 25th. It was a long trip, but the Lord was very close and dear the whole way! The first month is Belize was a challenge and exciting at the same time. We got to know some dear friends who live here, and also experience this very "diverse" culture. After adjusting to the many differences, we all started to really love it here (and still do!). However, life was so much busier than before. Ashley and I were milking a cow early in the morning, and much of the the work here is done pretty much by hand (no dishwasher, not "real" washing machine or dryer... ect.). I started not making time to spend with my Lord every morning, and I felt like I was getting discouraged... More discouraged than I had been in quite a very long time! I cried out to the Lord that somehow He would help me organize my time better to spend more time with Him in the mornings... His answer to this plea came in a much different way than I had ever imagined!
Giving this burden to Jesus made me feel much better. I knew He wanted the first minutes of my day to be with Him, too... Not with a cow! LOL. I knew He would make a way, and I started to feel more encouraged that week. However, the next week, in the middle of September, I realised something was not right with my health. My heart was continually racing rapidly, my heart actually hurt and my legs were swollen! I was extremely exhausted, and wondered if I was having heart failure. For a few days, we waited to see if I would get better... Maybe it was just a flu or something? However, as a week passed, my health got increasingly worse. On Thursday, October 6th I think it was, we decided to take me to the clinic and get a check up and a thyroid test. Many of my symptoms led to thyroid disorder, so we wanted to have that checked first. When we got to the clinic, the nurse checked my pulse. "Hmmm. Her pulse is quite high..." She couldn't find anything specifically wrong with me though. She said it would take a few days to get the results back about the thyroid test. We didn't want to wait that long, so she said that the Belize Medical Associates hospital/lab in Belize City (about 1 1/2 hours away in good traffic and weather) could do the test and get the results that day. So, off we hurried to Belize City.
Although they were able to take the blood sample almost immediately, we had to wait quite a while to see the Dr. I was feeling especially miserable that day... So tired and weak! I cried out to the Lord, "Father, what would you have me do right now?" It was one of those things that you don't really think of before saying it... It must have been Him that prompted me to say it. Immediately His reply came back: "Daughter, surrender to Me this sickness... Do not fear, but trust Me..." I gave Him my fears and doubts about how I felt, and my spirit felt so much better. Of course, I thought I would just get some thyroid medication and be better in just a few days. However, looking back, I see how He was preparing me for something far more difficult...
When the Dr finally called us in, he introduced himself as Dr Cuellar. He was a pleasant, jolly, plump Belizean who seemed like not many things could upset him. He asked a lot of questions, and then checked my pulse. It was around 145, and changing all the time. He suddenly had a serious look on his face. "Is that not good?" I asked. "Well, let's see what your mom's is..." Her pulse rate was at 72 or so... and steady. "Your heart is racing very much, my dear. It should be around 70-90 for your age. It was a good idea for you to check for thyroid, Mom," he said, talking to Mama now, "her symptoms definitely seem to point to it. However, her thyroid levels came back normal!" Mom and I stared at each other in blank astonishment. What? What could possibly be wrong, then? After a few more questions, Dr Cuellar said in a very serious tone again, "I am not happy with how she looks and says she feels... Her heart rate is too high, and we need to figure out what is wrong with her. I think we will admit her to the hospital now..." Admitted to the hospital??? My mind was racing in a million different directions. I wasn't that sick, was I? I had no desire for more tests, either! But I silently obeyed and followed the Dr to the hospital side of the building. My siblings were also astonished. They were all scared for me.
The first thing they did was hook me up to the heart monitor... (i can't remember the name... An EKG?). I was crying. "Lord, this isn't what I had expected!" I was at the end of my self. There was nothing left of me to fight for. I felt so humbled in the sight of my Lord and King. Slowly, He began reminding me in my heart of hearts that HE knew what was going on, HE had a purpose for it, and all He wanted was my willingness to comply to His will. It was hard at first, for sure. But I soon found peace and rest in knowing that He knew everything...
More in the next post! :)
